glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
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I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
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I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.