She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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