I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."