I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
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you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
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You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.