Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.

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  (630): Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species. http://tfl.nu/4i2r
  Replies (59) Good night (1436) Bad night (2947)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.

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  (803): worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week. http://tfl.nu/ib48
  Replies (28) Good night (812) Bad night (3236)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.

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  (662): After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do. http://tfl.nu/mztj
  Replies (9) Good night (3433) Bad night (1061)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.

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  (931): I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then. http://tfl.nu/2mcz
  Replies (28) Good night (6201) Bad night (4807)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.

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  (712): They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some. http://tfl.nu/oeo3
  Replies (6) Good night (2786) Bad night (1551)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.

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  (740): I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago. http://tfl.nu/bvjh
  Replies (5) Good night (3414) Bad night (1103)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.

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  (403): Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out. http://tfl.nu/zi3g
  Replies (18) Good night (2243) Bad night (1136)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.

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  (314): Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous. http://tfl.nu/8pll
  Replies (15) Good night (1475) Bad night (578)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.

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  (860): Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both. http://tfl.nu/abj8
  Replies (7) Good night (1884) Bad night (588)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.

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  (913): I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against. http://tfl.nu/anj9
  Replies (0) Good night (654) Bad night (370)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  He could stay over, if you'd just ask.

  (912): View more from Georgia

  Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"

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  (706): He could stay over, if you'd just ask. (912): Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not" http://tfl.nu/x11w
  Replies (11) Good night (1299) Bad night (438)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you

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  (517): To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you http://tfl.nu/rkbn
  Replies (11) Good night (2241) Bad night (621)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?

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  (515): He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for? http://tfl.nu/vbci
  Replies (4) Good night (1245) Bad night (333)
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  (818): View more from California

  I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian

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  (818): I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian http://tfl.nu/ltmu
  Replies (3) Good night (387) Bad night (235)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here

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  (404): There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here http://tfl.nu/zhh5
  Replies (0) Good night (492) Bad night (198)

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