Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
