Texts From Last Night

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  (360): View more from Washington

  i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man

  (206): View more from Washington

  ?

  (360): View more from Washington

  he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!

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  (360): i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man (206): ? (360): he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH! http://tfl.nu/k0fi
  Replies (27) Good night (4219) Bad night (835)
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  (212): View more from New York

  so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.

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  (212): so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is. http://tfl.nu/r3y5
  Replies (8) Good night (907) Bad night (1524)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod

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  (256): I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod http://tfl.nu/7c05
  Replies (35) Good night (1217) Bad night (3133)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you

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  (207): so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you http://tfl.nu/yn2g
  Replies (9) Good night (4552) Bad night (879)
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  (415): View more from California

  Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.

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  (415): Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only. http://tfl.nu/ffub
  Replies (7) Good night (4913) Bad night (1100)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same

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  (203): so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same http://tfl.nu/kiu0
  Replies (19) Good night (6149) Bad night (1037)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.

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  (203): Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end. http://tfl.nu/e1gy
  Replies (56) Good night (9099) Bad night (1660)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly

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  (678): I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly http://tfl.nu/mkzb
  Replies (6) Good night (3162) Bad night (1071)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day

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  (780): Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day http://tfl.nu/bjmm
  Replies (2) Good night (1016) Bad night (591)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice

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  (954): I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice http://tfl.nu/nj79
  Replies (5) Good night (1515) Bad night (803)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.

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  (609): Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him. http://tfl.nu/6jaw
  Replies (9) Good night (2759) Bad night (553)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best

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  (763): She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best http://tfl.nu/e685
  Replies (3) Good night (1056) Bad night (423)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there

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  (419): you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there http://tfl.nu/8eig
  Replies (0) Good night (376) Bad night (548)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.

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  (623): That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party. http://tfl.nu/6ozh
  Replies (12) Good night (558) Bad night (794)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like

  (630): View more from Illinois

  we should definitely drink gin again. soon.

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  (773): I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like (630): we should definitely drink gin again. soon. http://tfl.nu/20ks
  Replies (0) Good night (477) Bad night (300)

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