Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.