i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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