There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
