im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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