literally had 100 drinks last night.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
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so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
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I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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