is your mom at the bar?
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
