Texts From Last Night

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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.

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  (570): Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome. http://tfl.nu/qugg
  Replies (33) Good night (1921) Bad night (3116)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.

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  (850): come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants. http://tfl.nu/d477
  Replies (14) Good night (772) Bad night (3595)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?

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  (412): Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went? http://tfl.nu/2c9n
  Replies (22) Good night (2964) Bad night (803)
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  (619): View more from California

  His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.

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  (619): His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini. http://tfl.nu/6erh
  Replies (9) Good night (4662) Bad night (1363)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.

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  (417): I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat. http://tfl.nu/8r9j
  Replies (32) Good night (1371) Bad night (7368)
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  (707): View more from California

  I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"

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  (707): I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!" http://tfl.nu/i1ig
  Replies (16) Good night (1335) Bad night (4428)
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?

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  (361): Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one? http://tfl.nu/k16y
  Replies (15) Good night (9001) Bad night (1266)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook

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  (847): Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook http://tfl.nu/zrse
  Replies (9) Good night (3512) Bad night (1850)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.

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  (504): This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point. http://tfl.nu/a4gy
  Replies (5) Good night (982) Bad night (2842)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.

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  (303): I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub. http://tfl.nu/lnap
  Replies (11) Good night (1911) Bad night (1093)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.

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  (908): I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though. http://tfl.nu/x1vh
  Replies (4) Good night (1192) Bad night (541)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class

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  (814): I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class http://tfl.nu/2lhx
  Replies (7) Good night (1145) Bad night (473)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.

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  (307): Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS. http://tfl.nu/6kx3
  Replies (8) Good night (1609) Bad night (571)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.

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  (505): Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels. http://tfl.nu/3182
  Replies (3) Good night (355) Bad night (868)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?

  (540): View more from Virginia

  yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.

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  (434): do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night? (540): yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you. http://tfl.nu/hqli
  Replies (1) Good night (898) Bad night (525)

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