Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!