I don't think brook has ever known best
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
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I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
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He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect