Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Are you drinking alone?

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  no, i'm watching house

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  That doesn't count.

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  wtf, then i'm always alone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): Are you drinking alone? (662): no, i'm watching house (601): That doesn't count. (662): wtf, then i'm always alone http://tfl.nu/bvid
  Replies (18) Good night (915) Bad night (1246)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist. http://tfl.nu/cj2p
  Replies (15) Good night (4067) Bad night (558)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned. http://tfl.nu/25dz
  Replies (36) Good night (4928) Bad night (683)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training. http://tfl.nu/j8m4
  Replies (2) Good night (2280) Bad night (779)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off. http://tfl.nu/0f1b
  Replies (34) Good night (5229) Bad night (1069)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?

  (1-605): View more from South Dakota

  No. It just means your good at giving head.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head? (1-605): No. It just means your good at giving head. http://tfl.nu/6xkt
  Replies (22) Good night (4106) Bad night (1126)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon http://tfl.nu/7c63
  Replies (6) Good night (3505) Bad night (994)
• Favorite

  (435): View more from Utah

  When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (435): When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics http://tfl.nu/17q6
  Replies (13) Good night (3851) Bad night (889)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (563): I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one? http://tfl.nu/bi5f
  Replies (11) Good night (1340) Bad night (835)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.

  (1+44): View more from

  I regret nothing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop. (1+44): I regret nothing http://tfl.nu/8vxi
  Replies (3) Good night (2840) Bad night (1341)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore http://tfl.nu/qak0
  Replies (6) Good night (1659) Bad night (535)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public? http://tfl.nu/ycaq
  Replies (10) Good night (1203) Bad night (526)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer http://tfl.nu/4t5t
  Replies (2) Good night (271) Bad night (539)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape. http://tfl.nu/tyij
  Replies (2) Good night (542) Bad night (247)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): 6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever. http://tfl.nu/56gz
  Replies (1) Good night (489) Bad night (291)

Randomize