i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
