drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
