I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You need a sexual gate keeper
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
