i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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