I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
So vagazzling was a success
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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