Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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