He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
