home. puking in laundry basket.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
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I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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