I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize