I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
