Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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