I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
