I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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