Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
