I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
