I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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