ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
