Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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