...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
