The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Randomize
