It's Friday. Sex?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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