i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
