i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
