I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
