69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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