i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
