I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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