He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
