Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I currently don't understand fingers.
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