The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I could make wine with my vomit
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
