Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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