the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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