Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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