they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
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Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
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You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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