youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
if i can run in heels then i can drive
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
