I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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