Kareoke will never be a sober sport
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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