Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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