Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Use "feeling words"
Yay
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whose parrot is this?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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