i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
