yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
