we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
