it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
