4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Ketchup is God's man juice
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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