the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
