No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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