We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
