Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
