apparently the secret to your success is patron
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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