you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Randomize
