I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
