Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
