they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
