last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
