we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I got inside last night via doggy door
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
