Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
