If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
