normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
