omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
