He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
